Thursday, June 15, 2006

In memory of.....

It was Sunday's 11:20 pm when ma cellular showed the Kid no.? "What does he want?!" I've whispered..
Me: "Hello..?"
Kid: "Hello! Do you know?!"
Me: " now what?!"
Kid: "Baghday, Blue, YMX and Sonen?!"
Me: "No, I don't! what happend?!"
Kid: "You don't Know!!!!"
Me: "Know what?! What the..."
Kid: "Bye Bye!"
and soon the conversation was terminted. I thought it was a silly kind of a joke but then I decided to make sure and buzz the mentioned fellowes' cellphones! I tried to call the first one but I was surprised by the voice of the Network Call Centre said "The mobile you are calling is either switched off or out of the coverage area!". Something is wrong, I tried to call the others and it was fruitless!
Afterwhile, another guy called; He was my hostelmate, "Lil'"!
He asked me about the four guys telling me that they had an accident;
Lil': "Hey, Caesar! Listen, call Baghday's family and ask'em about Baghday and the others!"
Me: "Hehehe! Bad joke, nigga! You can't fool me!"
Lil': "I'm not fuckin' with you, ass! Call Baghday's parents! It's fucken serious!"
Me: "Why? what happend?"
Lil': "Well, there was an accident in Karrada! A bomb explosion!"
Me: "You mean they were there?!"
Lil': "Yeah, at the time of the clash!"
Me: "Ok, ok, I'm gonna call them! Do you hear me? I'll call'em. No more tricks, ok?!"
Lil': "Just do it, god's sake!"
**************************************************
I tried to call his Dad’s mobile but also it was out of service. My heart was throbbing faster this time hoping that nothing bad had happened. And soon I remembered that I wrote Baghday’s uncle’s phone no. somewhere and thus;
Me: “Er, Allo?! Am I talking to Mr. …..” asking about his identy.
Baghday’s Uncle: “Yes, who is this?!” he answered with shaky voice.
Me: “I’m Baghday’s friend, and I’m asking if he is ok?!”
B.U.: “Er, ah, I think he is ok! He is now in hospital!”
Me (being shocked but tried to keep calm): “Eh? No serious casualties I hope?!”
B.U.: “No, no, no! Just light burns in his arms and thighs!”
Me: “Thanks God! But what about his friends? They were with him and surely you know something about’em.”
B.U.: “Oh, I don’t know anything about the others. Listen, son! I gotta go now! Good bye!” and soon he ended the call.
I was puzzled this time; “What is the godammit going on here?!”.
I tried to call Lil’ to tell him about the call but it was ‘Switched off’ International Day and therefore I couldn’t call him.
I was more worried; “Why his cellular is switched off? Doesn’t he wait a call from me?!”, another inquiry came on ma mind “Is Baghday really ok? And why he didn’t tell me about his mates? Is it true that he doesn’t know anything about them?!” it was a torrent of tens of questions, inquiries and possibilities ,therefore, I decided to lie down and shut down ma senses and have a slumber.
I woke up early at that morning intending to go to college, on the way to college ma head was logged with these scary insomniac thoughts of something bad happened!
I got to college and there I saw a bunch of students gathering in front of the college’s cafeteria and they were my mates and I whispered: “Ya rabb ostur!” which means “please, God’s care!”. And there, I asked one of’em and he told me “We lost them! Three of them are gone!”.
I couldn’t believe it at first, the effect of the shock impedes the idea of death. And I realized that those three guys are Blue, Senon and YMX!
“Fuck Iraq!” I whispered with words came out from a collared throat. And then I had burst with tears bewailing on ma dear friends. There were some guys tried to lessen the mishap and give some support; “ They are resting in peace and let’s pray for Baghday!” but I couldn’t stop it. They were ma brothers.
Later, they said that Baghday was medicated in hospital suffering from serious burns of the third level in 60% of his 90 kg body.
I couldn’t go on more about this tragedy, no one would understand!
*******************************************************************
And then ma childhood’s mate, Baghday couldn’t make it and…………. *seizes a heavy teardrop*. I can’t forget that moment; it was 9:15 pm Bag. Time on Friday 16th of June, the phone rang and…
Me: “Hello, Falcon!”
Falcon: “Hi, man! Hey, Caesar! How’s Baghday?!”
Me: “He is ok! I had called yesterday! They let me talk to him through his dad’s cellphone!”
Falcon: “Please, can you make sure now?!”
Me: “Ok, I will!”
Then I decided to call Baghday’s dad again waiting for more good news about his progress!
But I was surprised when an unfamiliar voice answered
Me: “I’m just asking about Baghday, how is he?!”
The Guy: “I’m his cousin, Baghday has donated his life for you!” which means that Baghday’s gone!
I can’t remember then but a loud sharp wailing screech.
I didn’t imagine that I could cry on someone like that. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t study, I couldn’t stop weeping and I couldn’t stop that desire of cutting ma self again!
The more blood the more relief. I made sure that I shouldn’t leave any scars like I did before and I think that I’m becoming a professional with that shit.
And of course, Nobody cared or gave a fuck about Baghday’s death. All of their say is “He is resting in peace!” as if we didn’t live together for years and it’s easy to lose a guy like him. Even his girl (mentioned in his last posting, refer to Baghday’s blog!” didn’t shed any godammit fucken tear on him! Why is that, huh?!
Sorry, 13! But you oughtn’t say : “That’s it, it’s over!” I think it is egocentric act! It’s not easy to lose a friend and you fuckin’ know that!!!
It’s like if I would die, people will say: “Come on, it’s over! There’s nothing else we can do!........... So, how was your day?!”
What the hell your hearts are made of? Isn’t there any moment of silence? Won’t you stop this blood flood? I hate you, Iraqis! I hate you, Iraq! I hate you all!
Once, ma mom said: “I’m not Iraqi, I’m Italian! Because in Italy I felt that I was a real human and such land deserves to be your homeland and to consider yourself as a one of their people!”. She was fucking right!
May God keep my beloved mates in his eternal paradise. And if I could send them a message I will say this:
“Don’t fret, pals! You are in much safer, better and pleasant place! A place with no hypocrites, no love cheaters, no assassins and no power outages.”

12 comments:

Melantrys said...

Dear, like I said, people deal with grief and loss in different ways. And living in Iraq - where you are in constant danger of losing your own life or that of close friends and family - it is more likely to develop callousness, or what appears to be callousness.

Believe me, you are doing 13 an injustice.

*hugs you*

dave said...

I'm sorry dude. That is harsh.

Caesar of Pentra said...

Oh. Thank you, Dave! You don't have to be!
Mel, thank you too! But I don't agree with the different reactions! Either you care or not!

Melantrys said...

Well, if that is your unshakable belief then it is good for our friendship that I never knew your friends, cos if I had you'd hate me too now, dear. Because had I known them I'd refuse to discuss them with you or anyone else. Period. For the next few years to come.

Ppl are different. Very different at times.

Caesar of Pentra said...

*Sighs*

jared said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Caesar. Thank you for struggling to be a moral person despite all of the tragedy and brutality that surrounds you.

Confessions of a Malamute said...

Im so sorry Caesar =( wish I had words to say but nothing really makes up for the injustice of what is happening in Iraq to all the innocents there...

Caesar of Pentra said...

Oh, Thanks alot!

luckent47 said...

And I read these words while my lame ass friends blab about what records they bought or what crap from IKEA they had to figure out how to put together. Like I'm sooo out of line to mention that your friends were murdered. Shit, theyre so stupid they'll blame W..

I hope you spend the rest of your life remembering and trying to repay your friends. The friends I lost serving freedom are with me all the time even after 24 years. Dont ever forget them and if you ever feel embarassed to speak up remember that they are there to egg you on in spirit.
Fuck all of this fake ass bullshit!!
We have to bury all of these thug bastards and startthe world over with some fucking respect.

Stay strong and stay low. Its going to have to get alot worse before all the MTV idiots wake up, but they will and shit will get done. You are not alone.

annie said...

i hope time heals your heart. thank you for expressing yourself. friends are very hard to loose. never feel ashamed of your grief.

mckenneyl2 said...

WOW!!! I don;t know what to say. I am totally at a loss of words. I'm not even going to try to understand what it must be like to be there because I've never came close or knew anyone that has come close to death other then natural causes. I just know it must be terrible. I would probably comment suicide because I could not deal with it day in and day out. My heart goes out to you ceasar. God be with you and may Iraq soon be free of war and death.

mckenneyl2 said...

WOW!!! I don;t know what to say. I am totally at a loss of words. I'm not even going to try to understand what it must be like to be there because I've never came close or knew anyone that has come close to death other then natural causes. I just know it must be terrible. I would probably comment suicide because I could not deal with it day in and day out. My heart goes out to you ceasar. God be with you and may Iraq soon be free of war and death.